Senate Video Quality Control Act

In their infinite wisdom, the Senate recently passed a bill that in part makes it a federal crime to use recording devices in movie theaters. No more eye strain and nausea when you watch the pirated movies complete with shaky images, the backs of people's heads, and movie patrons who can't hear you when yelling "down in front" becomes necessary. They should have called this the consumer video quality protection act; Pirates will now be forced to steal copies of the movie directly from the production houses like they do over in China.