i felt like shooting the whole place up…. I’m just a few keystrokes away from lying all over my resume

If you’re going for a more high-profile appeal, look into drop-box answering services. You list them as a business (fake) and they will answer any calls to your number with your company name like they are a secretary. When they ask to speak to you, the secretary transfer the call to whatever phone number you provide to them. (and the person that finally answers is your friend pretending to be a boss)

If you’re afraid that they will check backgrounds through government records, just say you worked overseas. most people don’t know, and won’t bother to learn how to dial an overseas number.. and if they do, they won’t want to pay for it (especially if they are a smaller company) if they are a large company, the underling troll HR reps don’t have permission to dial overseas.

I might add though, generally conversations between former employers and HR reps are very short. They usually won’t ask nosey questions like “we he a good worker?” because any smart former employer will know not to answer that question negatively. 1) why do they give a crap if this new company hires some flunkie? 2) if they say something bad and it gets back to them, they can be sued for defamation and the company they badmouthed you to would nark them out in a second if you demanded to know why you weren’t hired. why should they care if some other company (quite possibly a competitor) gets sued by you? They only at most, confirm that you worked at the job during the dates you provided, and if you listed your responsibilities, they can ask that too.

so just do it. strait up lie. companies care about 1 thing. the bottom line. there’s nothing they can do to find you out if you’re even a little creative outside of conducting a full scale investigation. unless you’re applying to some 6 figure job, they aren’t going to waste the resources on some piss-ant when all they have to do is fire you and grab the next desperate sucker in line on the database.

I once worked for a HR company that managed databases, did calls, set interviews, etc for dozens of huge corporations. We never did anything to ensure the applicatants weren’t lying. They could actually blatently lie to us on the phone. If a 3 year old child called in and said he was of the legal age to work and met our requirements, we would set him up with an interview. Sometimes women would call in for their lazy husbands and we’d just send them on through to the interviews if they met the specs. We could make a note in the file, but the file wasn’t sent onto the local branches in most cases unless it was a really special case. Even then, we’d send them through and call a supervisor. There’s huge issues with liable and slander if you second guess someone because there’s always the off-chance that you just got unlucky and this 40 year old man sounds like a 3 year old because of some kind of throat cancer or something… and if you deny him a job for the reason “he sounds like a 3 year old” you could have some problems.

Most fortune 500s use outsourced HR for the shill jobs, and the outsourced HR prioritizes protecting it’s own rear and reducing their client’s HR costs (in order to keep the client). A final priority is the quality of applicants. Quantity was much much more important. We would actually call people about jobs that didn’t exist just to make sure they were still looking, otherwise we’d delete them from the database. They did that because there was a statistical projection that in X days there will be an opening available in the region. We sometimes had 200-300 people in a database for jobs that didn’t even exist yet.

Supposedly smaller companies are starting to outsource HR as well. Whenever you feel like the conversation is railroading you into yes/no answers or specific information without any chance to get a word in, it’s because it’s a call center. they charge their client by the minute, so short and quick is the objective. open-ended questions are a no-no. Instead of “what kind of experience do you have?” (you can rant to this answer)  the question(s) will be “Do you have experience with… blah?” (yes or no) Do you blah blah blah? (yes no) and if you attempt to give more information, they will cut you off with another question (because 99% of the time people will just shut up after being cut off since they are in a subservient position to the interviewer)in short… if this happens. lie your ass off. you can say anything you want and they won’t check it.

“Fuck em” . . . that’s damned right. I hate to use this old cliché, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The company that laid me off totally screwed me. I lost everything because they declared bankruptcy and skipped out on paying my $3,500 in severance. They even cancelled my medical insurance 30 days before it was supposed to run out.

Anyway, I’m going to try checking for companies in my area that went out of business during the time I’ve been unemployed and using those businesses on my resume. It’s not like they can call and verify anything with a supervisor or HR department . . . there’s no one to call!

The only thing I’m kind of concerned about is stuff like a Lexus Nexus background check whereas none of these jobs will show up on my record. There’s a few good excuses I can make up for this, though.

Mind you, I’m only applying for jobs I’m qualified for. Impersonating a doctor or lawyer is a horrible thing to do and a damnable offense. But fibbing on a resume so I can get a receptionist position isn’t exactly something that will hurt anyone.

I’m gonna give this a try and come back periodically to post whether or not the little white lies on my resume have worked in my favor.

I did both (well, I still work construction). For every person who says they did something there are 50 who didn’t. One guy with a cell phone after a few beers sounds just like a GC.
The companies are gonna fuck you over and nobody plays by the rules anymore. So just lie. If the companies can lie, so can you. There are thousands of jobs I can do that I don’t have paperwork or official experience saying I can do, even though I’ve done ‘em — I might not have a year experience and a CDL, but I can drive a goddamn dump truck (and have), or run a bulldozer, repair an engine, etc. Companies list “x amount of experience required” simply because they want someone who can do it right. That doesn’t mean they actually need the exact amount of experience. And in today’s job market, with companies cutting wages and being increasingly unethical, who cares?
Fuck em.

The best way to overcome any gaps are to list the experience as something that you volunteered for, thus there is no trail. Paid or volunteer experience is the same thing as long as the volunteer experience is in your relevant field. Obviously, what comes along with that is having someone you know to verify this. If you have good friends in your field (or similar to your field) who have their own businesses, there really aren’t any ramifications for them, especially if you are applying for work out of state and (in that case) there is no way a prospective employer would know that individual, anyway.